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Hello, I am Parnell Roberts, and I come to you today on behalf of the adopt a bomb fund. Their are production plants all over the United States sitting because they do not have the money to produce the bombs that are so desperately needed.

For just, uh, a couple of hundred dollars day you can help your bomb find its way in a desolate and scarred landscape. You'll also receive pictures of your bomb, and a report detailing everywhere it visits, Plus before and after pictures of your bomb final destination.

Think of the Bombs, and those places where they are so desperately needed. Thank, and The Adopt A Bomb Fund looks forward to hearing from you soon.

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I've been appointed to inform you your days are numbered
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Columnist Charley Reese

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